Saturday, June 15, 2013

When two people love each other very much....


     I took Bug to the splash pad, which we both love because 1. It's a water park for little kids, and 2. It's free. She plays in the little fountains that spray up from the concrete, runs around with the other toddlers, it's great. We've been there a few times, and I noticed something. All these kids, at one point or another, either stand over the fountains or sit on the fountains, so that their little kid crotch is in a constant stream of water. They stand there with blank looks on their faces, and I don't know if they're peeing or REALLY enjoying the water stream....I don't really wanna know, because both ideas gross me out. I remember really liking the jets in the pool, so I'm no stranger to such an idea. It's totally natural and all that, I know but EW. Then if they're peeing, it's predictable, but then it means that all the kids are walking through pee every few minutes. EW!

     Nobody says anything about it. At one point every single kid was doing it, and I'm looking around to see what the other parents are doing, and they all see it too. But we all sit silently and pretend to think about what we're making for dinner or whatever. So then I'm thinking, "what would I say to Bug if it was her?" I have no idea! Ask what she's doing? But what if she answers me?? Hopefully she'd just be urinating, but then reprimanding her publicly sounds mortifying. If she gave me any other answer than "I'm peeing" I'd be creeped out. Is that the wrong way to feel? It must not be a big deal because all the other parents ignore it, right? I guess I'll just think about laundry when she does it...

     I'm really pretty open with my children. Gage has had many an uncomfortable conversation with me about sex and growing up, poor guy. Due to our strict confidentiality agreement, I can't share any of those convos with you, but trust me when I say they were thorough. Gage also had health classes in school, and those turned out to be a great springboard for discussions as well. I just always answered his questions when he asked them. It's pretty simple, and you get to avoid "the talk", which I had to endure at age 9 from my mother when she discovered my affinity for Kirk Cameron. Hearing a long drawn out lecture about icky stuff that grownups do was almost traumatizing. I did NOT want to think about my parents doing it. It was just a huge amount of useless, disgusting information to me.
     Starting in 4th grade our school did four week health classes every year where they'd separate the boys from the girls and we'd learn about puberty and baby making from a school nurse. It was cool because we could ask anonymous questions for the teacher or nurse to answer, and we didn't ever have to be embarrassed. I learned way more from that class than from my Mom, because when Mom started talking I was so grossed out thinking about her and Dad doing it that I shut down and stopped listening altogether.

     There were always a few kids each year whose parents wouldn't sign the permission slip for them to attend health class due to religious or cultural beliefs. Of course we all made fun of them, and at recess we'd corner them on the playground and tell them everything we just learned. Because kids are assholes and have no respect for anything. So FYI, sign the damn permission slip when your kid brings it home, or else a 10 year old shithead will be the one to tell junior where babies come from, and not in the loving, "when two people love each other very much..." way that you plan to on your daughter's wedding day.

     So, my Etsy shop has sold just one thing, and that was to a friend. I think I'll close it down and just chalk it up as one of my many interesting endeavors that haven't worked out. I secretly knew I wouldn't sell anything. It's disappointing for sure, but I'm not losing any sleep over it. Husband thinks if I start offering the baby bags I make for shower gifts, they'll sell out quick. But I don't agree. Sure I make great bags, but they are simple. The amount of time I spend on each one (3-4 hours), plus the material costs, and the lack of fanciness do not equal what I would have to ask for them. Nobody is trying to buy a $50 baby bag unless it has "Eddie Bauer" on it. Meh, whatever.

     Here is the part where I'm going to give my asshole opinion. It's about breastfeeding. I recently got into a discussion about what to do if you're breastfeeding at 18 months old, and your husband suddenly expresses to you that it makes him uncomfortable. He thinks that if the kid can ask you verbally for milk and pull up your shirt, the kid is too old to be BF. Now all the BF mamas would say the husband has nothing to say about it, and he's just immature and stupid, and kind of a dick. I do not agree. The husband DOES have a say in it, because that's his wife and child. When you get married, your life isn't just YOURS anymore. And our males in this society are not accustomed to toddlers hanging off their wives' boobs. Should they be? Maybe, I don't know, but my point is that breasts ARE sexualized in American society, and I like it that way. So do men. They think about sex and boobs ALL THE TIME. Yes they do, even the mature, evolved ones, so stop deluding yourself. And they probably feel super disgusted and conflicted and confused when their wife's breasts are being occupied constantly by their child who is no longer a baby, and can eat chicken with a fork. It's gotta be a horrible mind fuck for some of them. Why doesn't your husband's feelings and mental health count?? I do not understand. Breastfeed all you want, but how long and where and whether or not they cover in public or any other issue should be a family decision just like everything else. They ARE your husband's boobs too. At least take into account each person's feelings and discuss it, don't just declare your husband a neanderthal and dismiss him. That's fucked up. K I'm done.


No comments: