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Showing posts from July, 2013

When your tattoo artist smells like Axe body spray.

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     Out of nowhere Husband said he was planning a date for us, he had arranged for an ALL DAY sitter, and it was all a surprise. WHAT??? The reason? Because "You need to get out. You deserve it." Uh, okay! I feel weird about the "deserve it" part, because nobody deserves anything, really. You get what you earn, but mostly in life you just get what you get. But if Husband thinks I am so awesome that I deserve a day of fun and rest, I shall not argue. ;)      First he took me to get a tattoo I had meant to get before our wedding but never got around to. Our last name on my arm, to match the tattoo he has on the same arm. And then...oh wait I have to get into that. Hahaha. SO. Our wedding tattoos were done by one of my very best friends back in California. I LOVE this chick. Our wedding tattoos. Our "rings"      We have been through roller derby, two divorces, reproductive nightmares, breakups, deaths, babies, political debates, para-psychologic

I thought for a time that I would be the female Bukowski.- A love letter.

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     I love Charles Bukowski for so many reasons. He is... a reluctant anti-hero for the common man. He turns ugly into poetic. Literally. Oh but his words are so truthful. So honest and wise and beautifully packaged in a mess. He is never embarrassed. He sometimes wants you to hate him. Once I start reading his words I can't stop. He was a drunk, and some have called him a womanizer, but when you actually read his stuff, you realize he is a true romantic, but one who has been disillusioned and sold out so many times that he became hardened. In any case, he is hyper-aware, sometimes to his own detriment. He reminds me of Husband on an intellectual level, minus the whores. Well okay...ONE whore. That's good numbers though. For those who don't know, here is Wikipedia 's description of him: Henry Charles Bukowski (born Heinrich Karl Bukowski ; August 16, 1920 – March 9, 1994) was a German-born American poet, novelist and short story writer. His writing was influe

Just kidding, I'm not gonna slaughter a damn sheep.

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     I've been wondering if I could live in a different country. My first thought about it is no way, since I am such a fucking baby about living only 2500 miles away from my friends and Mom. How would I function in a culture that's so different from mine that the language is different, when I can't even understand a southern drawl?? I bitch about everything Florida related, down to the street lights (that one is hard to explain, but trust me, they're fucked up). Husband lived in Sicily for a while when his Dad was in the Navy. I've heard wonderful and terrifying stories. How would I handle driving down two lane roads on a cliff with no speed limit and the likely reality of having to wait for 150 sheep to cross the road in the middle of my journey? My journey to the ONE store in town, which doesn't even sell loaves of bread. Because people bake their own bread...duh! And the electricity is iffy. Do people have running toilets or outhouses? I can't remember..

Have some shame, sir.

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     I have to say this before I start. If you write a blog and allow comments in it, and someone actually comments on something, FUCKING RESPOND TO IT. You are not that cool, chick. Yes I like those cheerful juice glasses, and the lecture about feminism as it relates to bikini's, but I will no longer let you know that I like your shit or your blog, because you fucking ignore me! I'm also, BTW, the only person who comments, so I know it's hard for me to get lost in the mix. P.S. I do not care about your green wedding plans. I'm sorry, but it's an irrelevant venture, in my opinion. That's great if your invitations are made of recycled toilet paper and you don't use plastic cups at the reception, but your recycling habits and quest for a smaller 'footprint' are not an interesting wedding theme. Have you seen "My Fair Wedding"? When you change your theme to Alice in Wonderland meets African safari, THEN I will be on the edge of my seat for upd

Drunk. Forgive my mistakes ;)

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     Please appreciate that I am a grown up, and I generally no longer get to have moments of drunken prose and reflection due to the task and joy of raising children and needing to be "ON" at all times. But here I am. And it is SWEET. My wonderful, hard working, thoughtful and perfect for me Husband and Bestest Friend is at a sports bar watching the UFC fight. I was actually excited to tell him, "Go watch the fight, I'm fine here. You need some YOU time to do whatever", because he deserves it and never takes the opportunity. he always prefers to spend his free time with me, his "roll dog".. It felt good to see him go and feel a little weird about it though, I admit. We're pretty much a disgustingly beautiful love long. *sigh*      My hometown, the one I didn't live in until I was 30, and the one where everyone knows everyone else and it is actually a good thing, is currently celebrating the Jamboree days 4th of July weekend (aka Jam Days) an