I am a delicate fucking flower.

     I came across a couple discussions this morning about feminism. I guess it's not surprising that it's still a somewhat controversial topic, but what does surprise me is that the definition got lost in translation. It's about women's equal rights, folks. The right to go to school, vote, earn equal pay, wear pants in public...you know. Basic stuff. As the feminist movement grew and years passed, it became colored by the women who held the torch, making them what we think of when we hear the word "feminist". They all had their own agendas of course, some of them being against what we believe ourselves. Some of them were annoying and made the rest of us look bad. Some of them made men very uncomfortable and go on strike from treating us with some chivalry. Ahhh chivalry...I know my husband is cringing right now, hahaha...He hates that word, and thinks the whole idea is ridiculous. Let's define it, shall we?

chiv·al·ry

[shiv-uhl-ree] 

1. The sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms. 

 

 

     Husband told me when we were still just friends about his distaste for that word, citing that women can and should do for themselves, and went so far as to say that the rule about never hitting a girl is also bullshit. If some woman was seriously trying to physically injure him, he would certainly put her on the ground. Yep, I still talked to him after that, because it makes sense. He pointed to an acquaintance of ours who was dense as London fog but very sweet, but totally useless as a woman and human being. There was nothing respectable about her because she didn't DO ANYTHING. No education, no job, no talent that we could see. She fully expected anyone she dated to be chivalrous, though. Then she ended up dating a stalker who wouldn't let her wear spaghetti strap shirts, and she complained about it. We both thought, "what do you actually WANT, girl?" It was insane. She bitched about how she couldn't find a man to take care of her and take the lead, but when she got a guy who saw her as his possession, she was pissed. That reminds me of the recent Chris Brown story, where he told a valet about Rhianna, "That's MY pussy! Back the fuck off!", and people in the media were acting like he was just being a possessive dick. Yeah, it's Chris Brown, so of course he's a dick, but we don't have the whole story on this particular incident. As Husband said, "That's a fine woman. We don't know if that valet was saying something disrespectful to Chris about her, maybe what he said was in her defense." Well put. I know that Husband would say the same thing to some dude if that's what time it was. Because he is a gentleman.

 

 You must understand that Husband comes from a long line of women who are incredibly smart, independent and capable people, and his female friends are just as amazing women. He just doesn't care to be around anyone, man or woman, that isn't capable of amazingness. However, he gets super irritated with me if I don't let him open a door for me, especially in public. It is disrespectful for me not to, and makes him look bad. I agree. Being RESPECTFUL of women is the point, which he certainly is. Being "chivalrous" is an outdated, unrealistic expectation of people, and to demand such from a man simply because you are female, shows your inflated ego.

 

     There it is in the definition, the word "knight", as in, knight in shining armor. That's a phrase that I don't care for. I am a Disney lover who has seen every movie and knows all the songs in the Little Mermaid word for word. But I do not think it's a good idea to shove the whole love and marriage, knight in shining armor who comes to rescue you from being single scenario into our little girls heads. It creates a multitude of problems for them. Why do our girls need a knight to feel fulfilled? Why couldn't Snow White be happy as a maid to those midgets, it's an important job! What if our baby girl dreams of marrying a princess one day instead of a prince? She can't relate to Sleeping Beauty, it's just confusing her! Then there's the issue of girl-on-girl hate. Cinderella's whole town was killing each other over that stupid glass slipper, and even her evil step sisters who usually stuck together, turned against each other over this man they didn't even know! 

 

     We wonder why girls are bitches? Because that's how our culture operates. Be a bitch, it's the only way to get ahead. If you want something you have to be aggressive and scary. Make sure the men know you mean business by beating them at their own game! Be a dick! And Goddamn it they better treat us right too, or we will key their truck and burn their clothes in the front yard!

 

    

      So then the whole feminism thing gets watered down with bullshit like the shaved heads, grandpa sweaters and opening your own doors of 90's feminism we all remember (The music was great though!). Riot Grrls were hot, but total bitches and didn't put out, not even with each other, which I always found disappointing. You went on a date with a guy and he would staunchly refuse to pay for his own dinner because YOU asked HIM out and he believes in feminism. What? Motherfucker, just because I made the phone call doesn't mean you weren't the one chasing after me for the last 3 months. We can at least go dutch, you dumb sac. 

     I kind of forgot my point.

     Oh yeah. The actual meaning of feminism is equality for women, and is a good thing. Being a cunt to get your own way only gets you so far. Eventually the only men (or women, if that's your thing) who will go near you are the ones who have no backbone and "need to borrow your car right quick". As my Mom always said, "You will catch more flies with honey than you do with shit." Put on a damn skirt, and go get that promotion, girl. 

     I just have to translate all this to Bug.....That's an interesting process. 

 

     And now in all my conflicting message glory, Here's my Ani. I still want my "Not a pretty girl" tattoo.....