Monday, March 4, 2013

Girl, where are your parents?

    I think I have walked about 10 miles in the last 5 days. Not because I wanted to, but because even though Bug can walk independently, she prefers to grab my hand and drag me along with her. Lap after lap, after lap...around the kitchen island, through the bathroom into the bedrooms, around the yard, through the park... She can go faster when she's got my hand, so it's too fun not to drag me with her. I can appreciate that. But I am also fucking sick of walking in circles through the house. OH MY GOD SO SICK OF IT. I decided yesterday that I was going to stop this madness and insist that for at least half the time, she walks her damn self around the kitchen island. Nope. Meltdown. Red face, tiny, balled up fists, shaking, screaming and's epic. I try to be strong, but her scream hits a pitch that is dangerously close to shattering the only useful eardrum I have left, so I just take the abuse and keep walking like an asshole in little circles.

     The guys look at me as if I can stop her. Their eardrums are rattling too. Husband has been off work for a few days so he has been able to witness the crazy that his daughter is capable of, which is awesome for me because usually when he gets home and I tell him of my struggles, I feel like he thinks I'm exaggerating. When Daddy gets home, Bug puts on her biggest smile and shows off her toys, and cuddles and laughs, and gets her belly rub and goes to bed. Shiiiittttt......She's got him SNOWED, dude. The whole thing reminds me of this tattoo he wanted to get when she was born, but it wouldn't have worked out due to the location and detail. He wanted a tattoo of her little hand holding onto his finger. Sweet right? Yeah, he's fucked. HAHAHAHAHA!! Seriously though, we're all kind of at her mercy for a few more months until actual discipline is worthwhile. All we can do now is diversion techniques, so I keep some Goldfish in my pocket and a remote control nearby for her, and hope for the best.

     I love when Husband is home for a few days at a time. Obviously because I love him and he's my favorite, but also because he can get stuff done around the house, which is part of why we came here and something that I know drives him nuts that he can't fix all at once. Constantly having projects to do is very important for Husband, on a personal level. He needs to be kept busy, in order to stay sane. His mind is always going so fast, I think having something to concentrate on calms him. When we were dating he told me that the way to keep him happy was to always have work and projects for him to do, and things to fix. He wanted me to do things I love and to let him make my life easier. He felt successful when I was happy. My response was something like, "FUCK YES LET'S GET MARRIED TOMORROW!" How we actually got engaged is another story.

     Then we went to a monster truck show over the weekend, and he made a badass roast before we left. Beef layered with bacon. Yep, it was awesome. I'd include an after picture but it was eaten before I had the chance. I seriously scored with this guy. He's rad. Oh the monster truck show? So lame. I wanted to go to one ever since I was little, but after going, I won't do it again. The people there were PRICELESS. Teenage girls got dressed up to go to this thing like they were going to the club! It was so....sad! Even Gage, who is technically a sick horny teenage boy, looked at the girls at this place, with four tons of makeup on and barely any clothes, and said, "GIRL, WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS???" Yuck.

     Oh yeah so, we live in a huge, beautiful, broken house, owned by my parents in law. The story is, the parents started this flooring business, it started getting successful, they bought their dream house, and then Hurricane Ivan hit, and the business got so busy that the parents only had time to sleep here for the next eight years. Every project they had going in the house was left mid-task. Add that to the wear and tear that goes with living in hurricane territory, and then a few of their handymen hired to work on the house getting pissed off about being told how to do their job (by my Mother in law, who I am certain could have worked circles around those guys if she just had the time) and them sabotaging things...and you have a small disaster that nobody has the capacity to deal with given their current schedules. Until a few days ago, we had zero out of four showers which were functional and not leaking in the house. We now have one, and three to go. The downstairs one will be super fun- that one has a pipe full of concrete, courtesy of an angry sexist handyman from long ago. Husband has his work cut out for him.

    I have been soaking up the extra hand in baby care. It seriously makes everything more fun when I am more relaxed. Here we are at the grocery store.
     Usually by the time we get to the cereal isle (halfway through the store) Bug is just about done with our shopping trip. This last Sunday she was fully stoked the whole time. She did the princess wave at people, made friends with the other kids in the checkout line...delightful.

     Then we got home and I felt like roller skating. So, I strapped on my skates and raced through the house, jumped the steps in the living room, skated backwards through the kitchen, did donuts in the entryway, and blew Bug's mind up. She loved watching me, and loved it when I held her while we rolled. Then today she got on the skateboard with Husband, and loved that too! It was so cool to watch her have so much fun!

     As if the last five days couldn't get any better, Gage came home with a certification in Microsoft Office Power Point. This dumbass school was good for something! Hallelujah! This is their saving grace after the whole school missed 4th period instruction to watch a video of the school basketball team play a championship game on Thursday. Oh, I was LIVID when I found that out. Fucking Florida. Let's cancel 4th period to watch a basketball game! How precious! Aim for the bottom America, bouncy balls are TOTALLY more important than algebra!

     As long as I'm on the subject of the boy, I must also mention my pride in his suggestion to his group in food-prep class that their free choice project be homemade burgers instead of the nachos the other kids suggested. The kids in his group wanted to make something easy, but Gage knows how to make something more difficult, and he does it well, so he wanted to show it off. The group won out on the vote of what to make, but just the fact that he wanted to do better made me happy :) Fuckin-A. That's a great kid.


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