Bug's first birthday!

    Bug turned one!!! We had her party last weekend, and she had a great time. But I had a mini panic attack right before the family showed up. First, I thought I didn't have enough spaghetti sauce (I totally did) so I sent Husband out to get more. Then he comes back with RAGU for Christ's sake! I beat him to death in my head for a moment, but luckily I was able to recover quickly without making too much of a fuss. Then my brother calls to tell me that Mom had a strange "episode" the night before, where he came home and she was very confused, and doing strange things, and unable to care for herself. After talking for a bit, we surmised that these episodes have very likely been happening for some time, but Mom and Dad had been hiding it from us. I completely lost my shit. This was 10 minutes before guests were supposed to arrive. Now I was crying in my kitchen, freaking out about my mother's possible dementia, with Bug on my hip, trying to arrange her party table and praying that I could get it together before people started showing up. I kept hoping my Mother in law would show up early to help with everything, especially now, but I hadn't heard from her at all yet and I was starting to worry that she might have forgotten about the party altogether. She and my father in law are so busy all the time, they sometimes end up being late or having to cancel whatever plans we make with them. It sucks.

     Noon came and Bug was starving, so I got her settled with her spaghetti and meatballs, and she went to town. The family came in and we ate and hung out for a while, and still no grandparents, and no call. Then a text from Mom, asking what time the party was at!!! I gave the phone to Husband to call her, and just as he got the phone, she called us. Dad was golfing and they'd come afterwards. The family all looked at me with these sad smiles that I took to mean, "poor thing doesn't know to expect this stuff from them yet". Whatever. I was upset, but even though I was starting to feel the beginnings of a full-on panic attack, I was determined to enjoy my baby girl's first birthday party. Husband calmed me down, reminding me that the party is going great and that it doesn't matter who's here, as long as Bug has fun. True.

     Eventually the in-laws did show up, Mom apologized and we continued on to cake. Bug didn't get the whole cake thing. She didn't want to smash it, or even touch it, really. I smushed her hand in it so she could feel it and taste it, but she just took a couple licks of frosting and moved on. Fine by me, I didn't want to give her a bath right now anyway!

    I ended up having a really good time, and was surprised that Bug did too. Gage was cranky and tired for one half of his first birthday party, and slept through the other half. So I didn't have any grand expectations for Bug. And it turned out great anyway!

     It is impossible to compare my two kids. I do it anyway because Gage is my go-to reference for raising a child. But they are totally different people, and the more I expect something from Bug because it's what Gage did, the more wrong I am. I have always said that Gage hit all his developmental milestones at the very last minute of "normal", right before I started wondering if he was retarded. But now that I have Bug, who walked at the same time Gage did, but doesn't say any words yet (Gage had two words at 12 months old) I realize that every kid really IS different, and I can't worry too much about these things or I'll go crazy. Or possibly, she's retarded.

     The kids' personalities are kind of similar though, which I find very interesting. They are both funny, sweet natured and affectionate, both are hams, and both are sensitive people. They relate to each other easily. She loves being with him, and he adores her. I feel very lucky to have such cool people as my children.

     Off subject, but it's on my mind. I love that show, Bar Rescue. I have been watching the marathon all day today. I'm pretty sure that I am the smartest bar owner who doesn't yet own a bar, in the United States. Either that, or the people on this show are brainless. Have those business owners ever even BEEN to a bar? Or a restaurant? Do their kitchens at home have roaches and rotten meat and bar flies in the ice tray? Probably not, so why do they allow those things in their place of business?? You have a bar/restaurant on the Redondo Beach pier in California, and the place is empty?! Dude. Somebody give me a few hundred grand...I'll show you how it's done.
Okay I feel better. Off to the backyard bonfire with my family, folks! :)