Wednesday, July 31, 2013

When your tattoo artist smells like Axe body spray.

     Out of nowhere Husband said he was planning a date for us, he had arranged for an ALL DAY sitter, and it was all a surprise. WHAT??? The reason? Because "You need to get out. You deserve it." Uh, okay! I feel weird about the "deserve it" part, because nobody deserves anything, really. You get what you earn, but mostly in life you just get what you get. But if Husband thinks I am so awesome that I deserve a day of fun and rest, I shall not argue. ;)
     First he took me to get a tattoo I had meant to get before our wedding but never got around to. Our last name on my arm, to match the tattoo he has on the same arm. And then...oh wait I have to get into that. Hahaha. SO. Our wedding tattoos were done by one of my very best friends back in California. I LOVE this chick.
Our wedding tattoos.

Our "rings"
     We have been through roller derby, two divorces, reproductive nightmares, breakups, deaths, babies, political debates, para-psychological journeys, drunken nonsense, the short period of 7 years. It's intense. So anyway, we're at this studio that Husband made my appointment at, and the guy that's supposed to do my work is the most Bro annoying fuck ever. The dude is all white hat and black socks, if you get me. He talks INCESSANTLY about nothing. About himself. About other people. It was exhausting. And then he starts talking shit about my work! He said my previous artist must have had something against me because they were terrible, and nobody should ever do finger tats, etc. I told him we were aware of the issues finger tattoos come with and still wanted them. He acted like we must have been duped anyway. I kind of wanted to walk out, because if you have to talk shit on other people's work to make yourself look more qualified, then you're an idiot. But I let the first few comments go without acknowledging them.
     So he starts my work and he's talking throughout the whole thing, and not to me. Just like, to the air.  About himself. Sooo annoying. I decided to get my "Wife" touched up while I was there, and once he started, Husband went out for a smoke. He looks at the lettering and declares it to be fucked up, and whoever did this to me was a dope. I had had enough. So I informed him that my previous artist was also my best friend, and that she did exactly as I wanted, and that ALL of my tattoos rejected some ink and had to be retouched, not just this one, and that he should probably stop bashing my friend and my other tattoos. He half-ass apologized. It sucks though because Husband put a lot of effort into finding a decent studio, and this guy was just unbearable! Next time I think I'll try the owner of the shop. But even he annoyed me by rolling his eyes and asking why I got an Italian phrase on me when I'm not Italian. Are people not aware that some phrases are inter-changeable between languages? Do you know what "Menage a trois" means? Of course you do! (No, that is NOT what I have tattooed on me)

     In the end, douche-bag did a good job on my new work, and I love it. That's the important thing.

     Next we went to have a couple drinks downtown, and then to dinner on the beach. And I mean right on the beach. The restaurant had tables out back in the sand, so you could eat with your feet in the sand! So nice. I stuffed myself to the point of pain and had to go home and lay down for a couple hours, but whatever. We ended the night by taking the Rhino to a nearby bar, where we had some delightfully strange bar conversations with patrons (one of our favorite things about bars), and then went home to bed. A perfectly perfect day!
At the restaurant

     The women in my family invited me to get a pedicure with them tomorrow. Like a freak, I asked for the name of the joint so I could call and quiz them about autoclave procedures, water filters, and disposable client packs. They answered all my questions correctly, thank goodness, because I haven't had a pedicure in YEARS and I'm really looking forward to getting one again. The last time I went, in California, I ended up with a terrible fungal infection which resulted in the loss of some toenails and a whole bunch of medication. And I got that infection from a salon I had been going to for 3 years with no problems! I swore I'd never do it again. But man, a pedi sure sounds nice!

     Oh I must update on Bug's not talking. I had an initial evaluation done with her to see if she has a speech delay, which she does appear to. So far, the rest of her development is right on track, so that's a relief. The next step is to visit a speech pathologist next month, who will determine if she will benefit from speech therapy. Even if she doesn't, the doctor will be able to tell me how to help her get talking, so I'm really happy about seeing him or her. I feel so bad when she gets frustrated from not being understood. Poor thing. My family thinks I'm crazy and over-reacting, but I am trying not to give a shit. I am the one who's with her all the time, I'm the one who has taken countless child development classes and done endless research on the subject, I will always be Bug's best advocate, and I'm the one with Mommy instincts that tell me something's wrong, so everyone else can kind of just fuck off on this one. I love them, of course, but I have to look out for my Number One first. And that's my Buggie Boo.  :)


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