Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Have some shame, sir.

     I have to say this before I start. If you write a blog and allow comments in it, and someone actually comments on something, FUCKING RESPOND TO IT. You are not that cool, chick. Yes I like those cheerful juice glasses, and the lecture about feminism as it relates to bikini's, but I will no longer let you know that I like your shit or your blog, because you fucking ignore me! I'm also, BTW, the only person who comments, so I know it's hard for me to get lost in the mix. P.S. I do not care about your green wedding plans. I'm sorry, but it's an irrelevant venture, in my opinion. That's great if your invitations are made of recycled toilet paper and you don't use plastic cups at the reception, but your recycling habits and quest for a smaller 'footprint' are not an interesting wedding theme. Have you seen "My Fair Wedding"? When you change your theme to Alice in Wonderland meets African safari, THEN I will be on the edge of my seat for updates.

     I turned the corner after doing dishes the other day to find this:
Notice the look of regret. It's fake.

      This was just some of the toilet paper. The rest of the brand new roll was littered throughout the bathroom. I used to think this shit was cute. Now it's just annoying. But what can I do? Kick her out? No....Instead I grumble and make a half-ass attempt to roll the paper back up.

Close enough.
     Our 4th of July was really weird, by the way. Husband and I were trying to cope with the absence of our friends and traditions we held back home, and reminding ourselves that we have plenty of time for new traditions as time goes on. Normally we would be having a BBQ or be at the bar with everyone, but this year it was just us, with a sleeping baby and some shitty Walmart fireworks. We tried to make the best of it, but for me especially, nothing worked out. I took Bug to the fair downtown and it would have been cool if she was like, 3 or 4. She was too little for any of the rides and bounce houses. There were too many people bumping into us and knocking her down because these are the rudest people in America, so it just thoroughly sucked. For reals, watch where the fuck you're walking. It's a petting zoo. There are toddlers here, and you are 40 and drunk. Why didn't your wife stop you from going into the petting zoo? Why is she standing there behind the fence with the rest of the Mommies while you pet goats?? Look at yourself, sir. Have some shame, for Christ's sake.
Here is me last year at our 4th of July BBQ
Here is me this year on the 4th of July. Those are my jammies. On the right is our fireworks. I'm really glad I shaved my armpits.

    
     Bug still doesn't say much. We think she might say "HI" sometimes now so that's improvement. She just started copying our actions though, and it's pretty amazing. She pretends to clip her nails, tries to brush her hair, clean the tables, stretch her neck like I do, etc. The other day she got all upset and started pulling on my pants leg to get my attention. I told her to wait a minute so I could finish making her sandwich. She got even more mad and ran past me to her room, found her swim diapers in her dresser and brought them back to me. Then she opened one and held it over her crotchal region, while still yelling at me...to tell me she needed a diaper change!! I was so happy! I discovered when I opened her dirty diaper that she had smoothed out the HUGEST turd, so it's no wonder she was so insistent I clean her up. Friend says this is a sign that she may be ready to potty train. I don't remember such cues from when Gage was little. It was long ago, and I didn't get him trained until his 4th birthday. I had to tell him, "You are not allowed to turn 4 unless you use the potty every time, no more diapers, ever. If you don't, you won't get a birthday party because you'll have to be 3 for another whole year!" And that was that :)
I'm pretty sure he didn't get potty trained sooner because his bio-dad was inconsistent while I was at work. I always came home to Gage in a diaper, when I left him in underwear. Ugh, whatever, he's potty trained now, so why stress it, right?

     Oh Oh OH!!!! I made that brunch dish that I had chosen to shame the playgroup Mommies! Except I made one pan for Husband's co-workers/my family, and the other pan I made for Friend and her family just for themselves. I wanted to do more for them. Losing a parent is so horrific. If I can help anyone through such a terrible time in any way, even by providing home cooked food, I always will. Losing my Dad was fucking awful. I couldn't think. I was never hungry, but when I was, I needed something to automatically be there, no effort on my part. So I gave them a casserole (Strata). How 1950's, I know, but what else could I do? But anyways, the strata was GOOD! And sooo easy! You can make it the night before and bake it in the morning. Perfect for Christmas breakfast, so I'm going to consider this and similar recipes for the future. Every Christmas I make a huge breakfast, which is great except I spend way too long cooking and not enough time enjoying my family. So make ahead breakfast is the shit. Recipe? Okie dokie!

Country Sausage Strata
Servings: Serves 8
Ingredients
  • 8 ounces turkey sausage , casings removed
  • 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
  • 1 medium onion , chopped into 1/2-inch pieces (about 1 cup)
  • 1/2 loaf egg or country bread (preferably 1 to 2 days old), cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices
  • 1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 1/2 cup half-and-half
  • 8 eggs
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 tomatoes , sliced into 1/4-inch slices
  • 12 ounces Fontina or Swiss cheese , grated (4 cups)
Directions
Butter the bottom and sides of a 9" x 13" or 8" x 12" baking dish.

In a large skillet over medium heat, break up sausage and sauté with olive oil and onion until golden brown, about 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from heat and set aside. Meanwhile, if using fresh bread, lightly toast and set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk rosemary, cream, half-and-half, eggs, salt, and pepper, and set aside.

Lay half of bread in buttered baking dish, sprinkle with half of sausage mixture, half of tomato slices, and half of cheese. Repeat layering with remaining bread, sausage, tomato, and cheese. Slowly pour egg mixture over top. Cover and refrigerate 30 minutes or overnight.

Preheat oven to 350°. Uncover and place baking dish on a baking sheet to catch overflow. Bake 40 minutes, or until golden brown. Allow to sit 10 minutes before serving.
   

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