Saturday, April 13, 2013

Jesus built my hotrod.

     I saw an engagement photo this morning that annoyed the crap out of me. It included text with some nonsense about how woman was made from Adam's rib. First of all, Genesis is by far my least favorite story from the bible because it is the most ridiculous. If you really think snakes talk, get your head checked. Second, if man was made in God's perfect image, and then woman made from man's image, it suggests that women are less perfect than men. Oh how I LOVE antiquated ideologies...
     What was this engagement photo trying to say? The message I got from it was that these two people are now complete because they have each other. Homeboy found his rib and whatnot. Ugh....can we please stop with the "you complete me" crap? Complete your damn self.

     After that I started my forever long search on homeschool curriculums. Husband and I think it is most likely the best choice for Bug, for lots of reasons. Public school is shitty and increasingly dangerous, private school is mostly religious around here, or Montessori, which is lame, and the stuff kids have to deal with socially these days is nothing but counter-productive to actual learning and healthy development. Homeschool curriculum is not one-size-fits-all. There are so many options and philosophies, secular and religious, public and private, online, state-run, on and on and a person who knows nothing about homeschool, it's all very confusing. I ran into a forum where parents and students review different programs, and as I scroll down, I run into a Mom who tells her story about why she started homeschooling. She cited many of the same reasons I would, until she dropped the science bomb. She thought it was "irresponsible" to teach kids scientific "theories" as if they are facts. She named a few that really bothered her. What kind of "theories" offended her, you ask? DINOSAURS.


     Because......dinosaurs aren't real? So, petrified bones which were carbon dated to millions of years ago and form the shape of dinosaurs...are theories?? How does one come to such a notion? I Googled "who thinks dinosaurs aren't real?" so I could find out what all this is about. I've heard that some Christians think the earth is only 6000 years old, but this dinosaur thing is news to me, and I never bothered to do the math. Unfortunately, there wasn't an 'I don't believe in dinosaurs' website, but I did find a post on that explained it fairly clearly. Oh, if you don't know, is a site all about pregnancy, conception and childhood, and they are host to hundreds of forums and blogs about everything motherhood related. I am a member of a forum full of other moms of one year olds. We share ideas and stories about our kids and stuff, and it's been very helpful. But there are lots and lots of nut-jobs on there too, and sometimes I go on there just to feel smarter.

     So anyway, I found this post from a Mom on babycenter from a couple years ago. She is talking about her neighbor who gave her 8 year old son some toy dinosaurs:

"I am a little shocked. She says she is a Christian, but the Bible doesn't say anything about dinosaurs. Should I let him keep them, as long as he understands that dinosaurs aren't real? Even the PBS shows that he watches talk about dinosaurs and evolution, and how the scientists found these "bones" but the Bible doesn't say that God ever created them, and the earth is only 6,000 years old, not old enough to have "bones" that they say are MILLIONS of years old! I know that Satan tries to trick us in many ways, and this is one way that he tries to fool man into believing that there isn't a God who created the universe. How can they be bones when they are made out of ROCKS? I told my son that dinosaurs are one of Satan's many ways of tricking man, and he must talk to God before he plays with them. Am I handling this right? My first 3 were all girls, and I adopted boys, and lots of mothers tell me that boys are often attracted to these dinosaurs. So I don't know what to do. Is this just harmless fantasy play for him, or should I be worried that he may go on to believe in things like evolution?"


     I know and love many Christian people, and only two of them are totally nuts. My Christian friends and family are intelligent people. I am fairly certain that they accept dinosaurs as actual animals that lived on earth and became extinct. When did dinosaurs become one of satan's tools? 

     Never in my life have I run into this dinosaur issue. No, seriously, people, I went to catechism as a kid, and Sunday school too (we were Catholic) so I am fairly aware of the highlights of the bible. Incidentally, I didn't do well there, because I was constantly getting in trouble and being sentenced to hundreds of Hail Marys (Hail Mary is a prayer) for my incessant logic. The nuns said I was being disruptive to the class by asking too many questions about their lessons. Totally confusing to a kid who was usually told to ask tons of questions because that's how you learn. If you don't get it, ask, right? Wrong. Not in religious school. The point is, the nuns almost always gave me the same answer to any question I had. "The bible is an allegory, not a textbook. Of course there are no talking snakes, Jesus used the stories in the bible to help us understand God's message." Oh okay, well that explains nothing. Thanks for all the Hail Marys, Sister, how about I go hide in the tube slide until my Dad gets here to pick me up, instead of in the sanctuary with all those gory statues and creepy paintings instead? 

     I had Baptist friends, Methodist, Jewish, Mormon, Lutheran, Episcopalian, Non-Denominational Christian and probably others, and I do not remember this level of crazy from any of those people or their parents. I did have a weird experience with the Mormon family though, cuz the whole family of 9, including the parents, looked identical to each other, and the girl I was friends with in their family was only allowed to eat apples when she was at my house. For reals. Me and our other friends would be having cookies and milk, and this poor girl was only allowed apples and water. Bizarre. So anyway, what happened to Christians?? They used to be nice people who tried to live in a peaceful way like Jesus would, and now there is a rising population who think dinosaurs are a conspiracy and science is satan's tool for tricking people? And what exactly is he tricking people into? Intelligent thought? Did God say, "here's a brain for ya, but you'd better not use it!" What in the fuck is going on??? 

     There must have always been religious nuts, and I just didn't notice. Maybe they're just getting louder, or more mainstream. Maybe the internet has brought to my attention what I otherwise would never have known, until the next Jim Jones incident. I don't know, but I'm a little scared. 

     Are these the children my kids will have to try and make friends with at the homeschool field trips and events around here? Oh Gage would love that. Fodder for his own blog for days. I gather from all the homeschooling forums I've been to that only about 40% of homeschool families are in it because their religious teachings contradict with mainstream education. That's still a lot of kids, but not most. Most seem to be families with kids that either didn't thrive in regular school for some reason, or kids whose parents are otherwise dissatisfied with our education system in general. Lots of parents choose homeschool because public schools are terrible and private schools are unaffordable. We are thinking about homeschooling Gage because his high school is consistently a year or two behind in lessons, than he was in California. Which blows my mind, because California has shitty schools too! He is doing algebra he learned in 7th and 8th grade, for fucks sake! How is he gonna be ready for college at this rate? Also, one of his teachers didn't know he was in her class for the first 10 weeks...Gage had to tell her he was there! He tells me the students who go there can barely speak English, they call the girls in the class "trick" or "ho" as an affectionate term, and a teacher actually said to his class, "what time IT IS?" in the form of a question. So yeah. Homeschool is looking pretty good. 

     Do I sound judgmental? I am. I judge my son's school as sub-par on a good day, and I do not feel very good about trusting his education to the employees there. However, taking over his education myself is fucking terrifying. If I fuck up, he's fucked too! So, finding the right curriculum to follow is imperative. Wish me luck!

   Bug's new thing is helping out. If we give her a rag, she'll "clean" things with it. She loves to sweep too, it's really cute!

     I made burritos the other night for dinner, and Bug loved them. It's so nice to be able to give her real food, and the fact that she actually likes what the rest of the family is having for dinner makes life easier.
     While we had burritos, Husband made himself a horrifying manwich. I'm pretty sure he only eats what I cook during the week because it's faster than cooking himself something, so whenever he gets a chance he'll do his own thing for meals. Here's his protest to burrito night:

     This terrible thing has a sliced hard-cooked egg, sliced onion, bacon, and mayo. Fucking sick.

Like my shitty food photography? haha

Oh yeah, and I made an ice cream cake! It's red velvet cake with vanilla ice cream in the center, and then I whipped together a can of cream cheese frosting with a tub of creamy cool whip, and used that for frosting. It was so easy I don't know why I never tried it before? I love ice cream cake!

Well, it's Saturday so I have to pretend to get shit done around here. Later!

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